Traveling abroad is a wonderful opportunity to explore new cultures, see beautiful sights, and make unforgettable memories. However, it also provides ample opportunities to annoy the locals and other tourists. Want to know how to be the most irritating tourist ever?
Here are the top ways to ensure you’ll be the talk of the town—for all the wrong reasons!
1. Speaking Louder Instead of Learning the Language
Because Everyone Understands English If You Yell It
Nothing says “cultural sensitivity” like assuming everyone should understand your language. When in doubt, just speak louder! If the waiter didn’t understand your order the first time, surely shouting it will help. Bonus points if you add some exaggerated gestures that look like a mix of charades and a bad mime performance.
2. Complaining About How Things Are “Back Home”
Why Can’t They Just Be More Like Us?
Traveling is all about experiencing new things, but why do that when you can just gripe about how different everything is? Whether it’s the food, the service, or the Wi-Fi speed, make sure to constantly remind everyone how much better things are where you come from. After all, you’re doing them a favor by pointing out their flaws.
3. Refusing to Try Local Cuisine
Is That a Burger on the Menu?
When in Rome, do as the Romans do—unless it involves eating something you can’t pronounce. Stick to your comfort zone by demanding familiar foods. Who needs to try paella in Spain or sushi in Japan when you can just eat at the local McDonald’s? And don’t forget to express your disgust at any local dish that looks even remotely exotic.
4. Taking Photos of Everything
The World Is Your Instagram Feed
Why experience things firsthand when you can experience them through your smartphone screen? Make sure to document every moment of your trip, from the mundane to the majestic. Hold up entire crowds to get the perfect selfie, and don’t forget to use your flash in every museum. After all, if you didn’t post it on social media, did it even happen?
5. Ignoring Local Customs and Etiquette
Rules Are for Other People
Who has time to learn about local customs? Just do what you want! If you’re in Japan, go ahead and talk loudly on public transport. In Italy, order a cappuccino after noon and watch the barista’s face. In India, ignore all the advice about dress codes and personal space. You’re on vacation—let the locals adjust to you.
6. Haggling to the Point of Ridiculousness
But It’s Only a Souvenir!
Haggling can be part of the fun in markets around the world, but there’s a fine line between negotiating a fair price and being absurd. Aim for the latter by arguing over pennies and walking away dramatically when the seller doesn’t meet your demands. Nothing says “respect for local businesses” like trying to buy a handcrafted item for the price of a cup of coffee.
7. Treating Locals as Part of the Scenery
Can You Move? You’re in My Shot.
Locals aren’t just there to serve you—they’re part of the rich tapestry of the place you’re visiting. So naturally, treat them like living props. Take photos of people without asking, interrupt their daily lives for your convenience, and generally act as if they exist solely to enhance your travel experience.
8. Dressing Inappropriately for the Occasion
Shorts and Flip-Flops Everywhere
Why pack practically when you can just wear what you want? Forget that certain countries have dress codes for religious sites, or that fancy restaurants might frown upon flip-flops. Dress for the beach no matter where you are—temple, church, or Michelin-starred restaurant. Comfort is key, right?
9. Littering and Disrespecting Public Spaces
Someone Else Will Clean It Up
Who cares if there are signs asking you to keep the area clean? Throw your trash wherever you please. Leave a trail of litter behind you as if you’re marking your territory. And don’t forget to carve your initials into that historic monument—how else will people know you were there?
10. Trying to See Everything in One Day
The Ultimate Checklist Tourist
Rush through every major attraction in a single day, barely pausing to actually enjoy them. Snap a quick photo, then hurry to the next spot. Brag later about how you “did” Paris, Rome, and London in 24 hours each. Who needs to savor experiences when you can collect them like Pokémon?
11. Selfie Stick Overuse
Everyone Loves a Good Poke in the Eye
Because nothing says “I’m a considerate tourist” like swinging a selfie stick around in crowded places. Block pathways, whack strangers, and generally make sure your selfie stick is as intrusive as possible. Your perfect shot is more important than everyone else’s personal space, right?
12. Trying to Pay in USD
The World Is Your ATM
Why bother with local currency when you can insist on paying in US dollars? Act surprised and annoyed when shopkeepers refuse your dollars or give you a terrible exchange rate. After all, who needs euros, yen, or pesos when you have the almighty dollar?
13. Assuming Everyone Understands Your Slang
Just Speak Normally, Mate!
Forget that you’re in a different country with different dialects and expressions. Use your local slang and idioms liberally. When they don’t understand, just repeat it slowly and louder. It’s always fun to confuse people and then get frustrated when they don’t know what “chuffed” or “dodgy” means.
Traveling is about expanding your horizons and respecting other cultures, but where’s the fun in that? By following these tips, you’ll ensure that you’re remembered long after you’ve returned home—though maybe not for the reasons you’d like. Happy travels! Or, as the locals might say, “Please don’t come back.”
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